A few weeks ago my husband and I went out to dinner in Stillwater, Minnesota.  Stillwater is a quaint, little river town along the St. Croix.  It’s known, not only for its beautiful shoreline, but also for its shopping. There are loads of stores filled with everything from kitchenware to garden supplies to clothes.  And antiques; Stillwater has a plethora of antique stores. 

When we finished our dinner we decided to take some time to walk around town and peek into some of the stores.  My husband patiently waited for me in the kitchen store, although, truth be told I think he enjoyed this stop as much as I did.  He had no idea that there were so many cooking products available.  He’d certainly never seen me using them!  Next, my sweet man gallantly went with me into a knick knack store; but even I got bored in there.  So when he asked me to go into the antique store (that I was trying to avoid) what could I do but say yes? 

I’m not a fan of antique stores.  I can’t quite pin down why but I think it starts the moment I walk in the door.  Antique stores have a particular odor that can’t, and really shouldn’t, be duplicated.  Maybe it’s the assortment of items that come from an assortment of households, all mingling together, that causes the odor.  Or maybe it’s just the smell of dust.  Whatever it is, I’m not a fan. 

Then, of course, there is the fact that everything is packed in so tight that I’m afraid to turn around lest I break something.  Now mind you, I don’t really mind looking at all the little antique dishes, knick knacks, jewelry, and the like; I just don’t necessarily want to take them home  . . . broken.

I think the real thing that bothers me about antique stores, is the type of thing that seem to qualify as an antique.  I may see a mixing bowl and notice that it’s exactly like the one at home in my cupboard.  Wait a minute!  If that mixing bowl is an antique, and I got it for a wedding present, what does that make me?  And what am I to make of the fact that the very same dishes that my friend, Jeneanne, got for her wedding are now for sale at most every antique store in the country?  She was only married a few months before me.

But the other night I just about went over the edge when I found a book that my boys had when they were little!  So, what they’re saying is that not only am I an antique, but my kids are, too?  That can’t be right.  There should be laws or something.

I think I’ll have a garage sale.  The ad will read something like this: Garage sale: Saturday – LOTS of antiques.  Do you think people will be disappointed?  Worse yet, do you think it’ll give my garage that funny odor?  Never mind; I just can’t risk it.