I used to have a little security blanket… and not as a child, I mean as an adult! It was actually one of the best gifts I ever received. My best friend, Missy, noticed that when I’d come over to visit her family, I’d gravitate to her newest baby (love babies!) and to the baby’s blanky. Especially if that blanky was edged with rubbies (satin). I’ve always loved running my fingers over and over those satin edges. One year for Christmas, Missy gave me blanket made ENTIRELY OF RUBBIES! (it had a satin backing.) Okay, now I know some of you think this is ridiculous, but I had slept alone my entire life and this literally became my security blanket. It helped me sleep. And I was used to having security blankets in my life.
I was at a point in my walk with God that I knew God was calling me to become the active and vibrant woman who he designed me to be. And yet, I had some security blankets that I needed to let go. My weight was a great excuse for why my real dreams couldn’t come true. I was miserable, and I was mad at the world (men) for not seeing the real me, but I was hiding her under layers of fat. Plus I turned to food for comfort, so weight was a natural outcome — it was a double whammy. And I had a hard heart (sarcasm) which kept me from being too soft and vulnerable so I couldn’t be hurt any more. I wanted to be the vibrant and active woman I knew God had created me to be. But first I had to let go of my own self-protection, which means I needed to let go of my security blankets (my weight and my hard heart). I needed to stop depending on those security blankets and start depending on God.
What are YOUR “Security Blankets?” What do you use for self-protection? Sometimes they aren’t ugly things — money, power, and status can also be security blankets. What are the things or methods by which you keep your heart and soul protected from the world?
When I got pregnant without being married, I was VERY lucky in that my parents were incredibly supportive. They were disappointed, but they provided emotional and financial support for Andy and me. I didn’t want to be too dependent on them, so I moved out when Andy was 3 months old to get used to being on my own. I knew I needed to learn how to survive on my own, and I became fiercely independent in order to survive. My identity became wrapped around the concept that, ultimately, it was up to me to figure this life out. It’s a lonely place to be — fiercely independent — but at least no one can disappoint you. And yet, when I let myself dwell on it too long, I was overwhelmed with how lonely and tired I was from holding up the entire world on my own.
I understand that saying you have to become dependent is scary and some of you are mad I’m even using that word. To be dependent on another human — truly dependent or worse, co-dependent, is risky because humans are imperfect and they will disappoint you: even if they love you, they can hurt you. But if you first seek to know and understand God, then you know he is the ONLY one we can trust and be dependent on and come out ahead. In fact, not only is God safe to depend on, but he requires it because only he can deliver on our dreams. In order to become a dreamer, you’ll have to be dependent upon him! My marriage and my ministry and my parenting are all things I dream about, but only by depending on God’s grace can I do any of those things well. And, really, only God could have orchestrated my marriage and my ministry; my history clearly shows that I was incapable of getting myself to where I am now.
Our deepest, most vulnerable fears are often the flip side of our deepest, most tender desire. For me, my deepest fear is that I am fundamentally unlovable. In fact, when I let myself dwell on that fear too long, I can feel physical pain. And even though I understood that God could love me, he’s God (that’s his nature) but what about a man? Growing up, my Dad — who is a good man, and a well meaning father– was concerned about my weight. He told me from a young age that I would have hard time finding love if was overweight. What I heard from that was “you are unlovable.” So I spent the rest of my life rebelling and hoping to prove him wrong. I was in control of my rebellion and it made me miserable.
What is the deep fear attached to your most tender desire?
We have an enemy and his name is satan. There is evil in this world working against us and our enemy knows how to pinpoint our fears and keep us paralyzed. God wants to free us from our fears, but first, we have to DEPEND UPON HIM. Because we are human, because we sin, we cannot do this on our own. I could not shed my security blankets of a hard heart (sarcasm) and weight (depending on food for comfort) without TRUSTING THAT GOD WOULD PROTECT ME. Your security blankets are very likely KEEPING you from living the life you desire to live; keeping you from becoming who God designed you to be! This is why spending time to seek to know and then trust God is so critical. You’ll need to trust him in order to let go of those security blanket.
Psalm 62: 5-10 (NLT) says, “Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken. My victory and honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.O my people, trust in him at all times.Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge. Common people are as worthless as a puff of wind, and the powerful are not what they appear to be. If you weigh them on the scales, together they are lighter than a breath of air. Don’t make your living by extortion or put your hope in stealing. And if your wealth increases, don’t make it the center of your life.”
1 Peter 5:7 (ESV) says, “Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”
John 15:5 (ESV) says, “I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”
1 John 5:14 (ESV) says, “And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.”
Sweet friend, it IS God’s will that you would depend upon him instead of those security blankets, which keep you stuck in fear and loneliness. Turn to him today and ask him to free you from those self protections which only serve to harm you. Turn to him today and ask him to show you how to be dependent solely upon him. I no longer sleep with my security blanky. I wrestle to let go of food, weight, and sarcasm as my strongholds. It is not an easy battle, but it is a WORTHY battle! Friends, God promises that there is PEACE and a better life on the other side.
- How do you feel about being God’s dependent? What emotions are stirred by the word dependence?
- Think about your security blankets — your self protectors — how effective are they? What have the side effects been in your life?
- Do you believe that God will be enough to protect you? Do you trust him with your life? Are you ready to let go of the old and grab hold of the eternal?
- Write a prayer about letting go of your security blankets. Ask God for guidance, wisdom, strength and stamina to do what you’ll need to do to depend upon HIM instead of those things holding you back.
- Commit to one thing you will start doing (or stop doing) today in order to let go of a security blanket in your life.