Sex is not only a coming together of two bodies, it’s more than that: A melding of two bodies, hearts, and spirits. Whether it is obvious at the time or not, there is much more to sex than just a physical release. There is a psychological and spiritual shift that happens while making love, a connection of two parties that may possibly be ignored but cannot be denied. That’s why in this day of casual hook ups, friends-with-benefits, and one night stands there are so many broken hearts walking around inside human skin. Sex isn’t as much about position and longevity, it’s actually more about timing.

When you meet someone, propriety suggests a protocol: A greeting and maybe a handshake or left and right cheek-to-air kisses, depending upon where you grew up. There is a mystery that unfolds. Is there a possibility that we will get along and become friends? Will this person be nice to me? We wonder about his or her intentions… As the mystery develops, we discover more about each other, and so on. Over time we determine similarities, differences, likes/dislikes, goals and dreams for life, et cetera. That is pretty basic, universal stuff, right?

But that’s where timing comes in. It’s seldom true that someone will watch and wait for a person whom they know will be intentionally mean and nasty to them so they can tell them the most intimate parts of their story. Or that we hope and dream of having our figurative hearts stepped on with cruelty and pain.

When we hurry the process and agree to have or initiate sex before it’s time, there are problems that inevitably occur. Without respect and commitment, sex becomes purely a physical release (or so we’ve been told). But the other dimensions of sexual activity come into play whether we want them to or not. When our bodies were knit together before we were born, all of the components were connected: physical, mental, psychological, emotional, and spiritual. You became who you are through the circumstances of your growing-up years.

Sex is like psychological and emotional cement… it connects the hearts and spirits it touches. Every time it is connected and then ripped away again, there is a tearing that occurs. On the other hand, it can also be amazing over time, as two hearts become one and growth in relationship occurs. But without the protection of respect and commitment, it’s just setting us up for a bigger tear or broken heart.

God created sex for us to enjoy, did you realize that? He didn’t just want to populate the earth, He also designed our bodies to enjoy and receive benefits from having sex. But He created it to be held sacred within the covering, protection, and commitment of marriage.

OK, I know I just lost some of you… Come on, keep reading.

You may not think so, but God’s timing is in our best interest. He set boundaries in place to protect us from broken hearts, broken stories, and broken lives. As Solomon said, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires” (Song of Songs 8:4).

So really, you can have great sex. Just wait for it. It can be amazing and more than you ever dreamed that it could be… in the right time. Lots of people enjoy a part of sex here and a little over there, but God created it to be beautiful and satisfying for two people for a lifetime. What God has joined together, let no one separate.

Wait for it. Timing is everything.

Tabby Finton

Author Tabby Finton

Tabby is a life-long lover of God, and she is passionate about His purposes. She has served alongside her husband in pastoral ministry for twenty-five years. A credentialed minister, she loves to speak, write, and encourage. She is mom to three sons and wife to Steve, Lead Pastor at Abundant Life Church in Blaine.

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Join the discussion 3 Comments

  • Kathrinkim says:

    Fantastic article!!! Thank you for not shying away from this topic.

  • Teresa Kuhl says:

    Terrific article. As a 50 year old newlywed who had a history, I made a choice to start over and wait, as did my husband. We have been blessed beyond our wildest dreams with what God has done in us, for us and through us!!

  • Teresa Kuhl says:

    Terrific article. As a 50 year old newlywed who had a history, I made a choice to start over and wait, as did my husband. We have been blessed beyond our wildest dreams with what God has done in us, for us and through us!!

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