Did I catch your eye with the title? Did you peer further, secretly hoping that what I said in the title is true? It is. You are. You, as you are, in this moment, are enough and I need you to know that. Even more, your kids need you to know that.
Didn’t do the dishes this morning? It’s ok. Have laundry piling up in every room? So what. Snapped at your child when she whined for the 100th time to play her video game after you said no? Get in line.
And I say that in love, girls — in love. You are not alone. I have yelled when I wanted to display more patience, I have often been too tired to read to my children, and laundry and dishes? Don’t let me get started… I would go take a picture for you, but my feet are stuck to my dirty floor.
I have running lists of things I wish I did better, of things I think are good. Expectations can eat us up and spit us out before breakfast if we let them. So I am going to let you in on a little secret I am learning — and by “learning” I mean growing in, tackled by, and wrestling through — like most truth nuggets in life, it has to be worked for and worked through.
You see, in motherhood there is no perfect pattern or mold. Are you flawed and messy? I’m guessing, yes. I guarantee that I am. The thing is, we are humans and so that means….wait for it…drumroll…we are imperfect. Gasp, I know! Yes, all of us, including that mom you see dropping her kids off at practice with a clean car, perfect hair, and toned arms (seriously, I would love some toned arms….apparently not as much as I love not working out…bummer). Believe it or not, even that mom has flaws, and I would venture to guess her life isn’t perfect. Actually, I don’t need to guess — it isn’t. There is a very good chance there are some insecurities she has about her looks, her mothering, or some other struggle that makes her just as human as you and I. What makes us think we are less than someone else? Sigh.
Girls, we have to ditch the self-smacking thoughts and step into who we truly are, so we can be the best we can be. In particular, for this pep talk — to be the mom we were created to be. Do we want any less than God’s best for our kids?! No. Then why do we sabotage ourselves with negative thoughts, overwhelming expectations, and exhausting schedules? What is our motivation? Could it be an underlying fear we aren’t good enough? Or just aren’t enough?
This is the Mom Fact I am working on at the moment: I am enough. Do I have it all together? Certainly and most obviously not. But do I have all that I need to be the best mom I can be for my kids? By the grace of God — absolutely.
I recently shared at a baby shower. I felt God resonating in my spirit to tell this new momma and all the other mommas in the room that he picked them, specifically, for their kids and they were enough, just as they are. I believe God desires that to resonate in every mom’s heart. See, he knew you in your mother’s womb and knew all that he created you to be (Psalms 139:13). He specifically and purposefully created you, nothing was a mistake or an oversight. Every trait and gift is intentional. And he created your child with the same love and attention to detail, placing them in your care. To me, it looks like a pretty awesomely intentional assemblage. You are meant for them and they for you. Together in all your strengths and weaknesses, you make a thing of beauty. And your mother-child relationship will be something that will bring both of you closer to your fullness in Christ, your purpose in life, your beauty flourishing as your relationship with him stretches and deepens. Consider your children to be little iron-sharpening gifts on the tough days and heart-bursting warm, fuzzy gifts on the lovely ones.
And here’s a thought: No one else in your life will ever want so little from you as a child. Yes, they are work and motherhood is not easy, but they really require very little from you:
They desire your love, pure and simple.
They desire your time — nothing fancy, just being near (case in point, when I finish this I’ll be watching Star Wars with my family because my 10-year-old daughter “just wanted me there”).
They desire you to be you. They know your heartbeat from the inside out, and I wonder if deep inside, they know you better than you realize. All they want and need is for you to be who God created you to be — living in that brings them security, joy, and a beautiful example of God’s grace walking life out before them.
It’s that simple, girls. And I guarantee that your children believe the truth…
Mom, you are much more than enough.