It’s not real; it was just a dream. I know that in my head, but my heart is still smarting from how real it feels.
I had a rough night. I slept hard, but then I had some really weird dreams. In part of them, my sister, mom, and I were shopping in a quaint, country-type grocery store where there seemed to be little organization and not a huge stockpile of goods to choose from. I was frustrated in the dream sequence as the owner kept making up excuses why something wasn’t available. And he kept going to look for more items in the back room. Weird! Oh, and then my husband showed up and said he didn’t want me anymore. Ouch!
Why in the world did I dream these things? I’m sure some would like to phycho-analyze them for me. But some things do make sense. Yesterday was my sister’s birthday, and we live far apart. I miss her. My mom has been in heaven a long time now, and I miss her so much too. And I always loved to shop in quaint little stores with them! Okay, that part is clearer. Not sure about the organization part. That’s where an analyst could have a field day!
The other part kind of makes sense too. I’ve had conversations with a few friends recently where they were legitimately rejected, in part or whole, by their husbands. Some rejection was temporary, and some was permanent. Each one was hurt so much. I shared their pain more deeply than I realized, I guess.
The truth is that Steve and I have been in a really good place in our marriage lately. There have definitely been seasons on struggle off and on through the years, as there are in every marriage relationship. But we’re not experiencing one of those right now.
So this becomes one of those times when I have to remind myself of the truth. He loves me. He’s committed to me. He won’t leave me. He values me. I can trust him.
I was using double-speak just then. Yes, I am blessed to have a husband of whom those phrases are true. But I also have a Father, Husband, Brother, and Friend in Jesus, of Whom all those phrases are true too. And so can you. God’s promises are certainly not just for me!
I remind myself of the truth, and then I take the lies back to Jesus. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, “We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” Our former Pastor, G. Mark Denyes, used to describe this verse as saying, “Jesus, look what the devil is trying to make me think about!” Every wrong thought (lies, lust, rebellion, or whatever) can be taken to Jesus right away so they don’t have a chance to settle down and grow in our hearts. Dealing with destructive thoughts in this manner right away is always best.
Now I can text Steve back and answer his sweet reply about my dream, “That could never happen.” I think I’ll say, “Thank you. I took it to Jesus, and I’m better now. <3”