So, it’s naptime.
All three of my kids (six, four, and two years old) nap at the same time everyday.
Many days – or if I’m honest, in this season most days – I walk down the stairs after tucking them in feeling an equal amount of relief and regret. Relief that WE MADE IT ‘HALF’ THE DAY. And regret because I’m a far-from-perfect mom, and the apples don’t fall far from the tree.
Being a mom, particularly with really little ones, is HARD, mentally and physically (sometimes) and emotionally (ALL THE TIME), but it’s more than hard work. It’s that these little people God entrusted to our care (and who carry our genetics – Lord help us) are eternal human beings with a body, a soul, a spirit, a memory… and a divinely-designed destiny and purpose. So it ALL MATTERS.
BUT NO PRESSURE.
It’s hard because in order to instill critical values and teach the tough lessons that will make them successful adults, it’s a battle. Some days the battle is more subtle, and some days it’s ugly and messy. The aftermath (besides the part that requires scrubbing and laundry and 15,000 wipes and sanitizing everything) is painful.
Replaying every standoff of the wills, agonizing over whether each battle was the “right” one. Am I helping them or am I scarring them for life? Am I really teaching anything of value or am I the referee-on-repeat that I actually feel like? Did I love them enough in the midst of the crazy? Will they remember anything fun or good or significant about today? What are they thinking in their little minds and feeling in their little hearts?
Did I look or sound anything like Jesus to them today?
It feels like it’s us against the crazy, and us against our own thoughts. 24/7. Factor in the ever-opportune, ever-lying voice of a real enemy who wants to defeat, discourage, and destroy it all, and the word “battle” takes on even more meaning.
BUT – if the Word of God is true, and we are placed and positioned for such a time as this…if those little people are arrows and we are warriors, and his kingdom needs to come here as it is in Heaven…if time is short and every season IS significant and every task is a preparation…then we have no other option but to LEAN IN to the struggle and still the feelings and silence the voices, especially that lying one. To TRUST the one who chose us and gave us the rewards to hold and the heritage to pass. To believe he is good and we are in process and VICTORY is ours no matter the circumstances of the day.
So make the tea, eat the leftover lunch, sit down for “just a minute” before tackling the laundry or bills or dishes…or not, and indulge in the luxury of a SHOWER…
But DON’T MISS where you stand in the big landscape of eternity, momma.
Even tired, even questioning – between the naptimes, we are accomplishing eternal things so big, we can’t even see them.