Each of us is faced with thousands of choices every day that define our thoughts, our behavior, and who we are to the world. This fall’s Thrive Conference explores the idea that the choices we make hold power and provide opportunities that influence ourselves, others, and how we see God. Each Tuesday from now until October, we’ll feature one story of someone whose life was changed by the conference or who was faced with a choice and held firmly to the belief that “I Choose.” Today’s story is courtesy of Molly, who writes about her experience at last fall’s Thrive.

I sing this song in my church, I’ve sung it at conferences, I watched a contestant on The Voice sing this song.

The first time I heard it, the words swirled around my soul, kicking up the dust where I’ve settled, and created this challenge … I knew I must accept the challenge if I wanted to keep growing in the Lord.  It has become my anthem. One day I sang it as a prayer:

“Spirit Lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever you would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
Where my faith would be made stronger
In the Presence of my Savior…”

And just like that, things started happening.

My father in-law suddenly, tragically dies. For my boys, this is their first up close and personal experience with death. And it’s ugly and difficult and scary – suddenly I’m navigating depths of being a mama that I didn’t know I had.  I’m in unknown territory navigating death as a supportive wife, mama, daughter-in law, and friend.

Then one Monday morning, I’m back at work all of two hours and my manager calls me to tell me that I have a new job: one that I didn’t apply for. I was asked for, by name, to come be a part of a team to fix what is broken with a to-be-named NEW manager.  The kicker: I don’t have a choice about this major change.

I’m blasted right into the middle of the UNKNOWN. All I can hear God firmly say is “Trust me, I’ve got this.”

As if July and August weren’t crazy enough, fall started and my boys were in church, soccer, football, Scouts, and more. I’m running here, running there, dropping kids, picking up kids, desperately trying to keep up and life is swirling. I’m tumbling towards burn out.

But there is HOPE. There is a promise. And that prayer I prayed…

See, back in June, I bought a ticket to a women’s conference in my home state of Minnesota for October. Bridging the Gap Minnesota put on this amazing women’s conference that breathed fresh life into my soul, removed burdens I wasn’t meant to carry, set me free in yet another area, and got me fired up for what is next . . .all in just a day and a half.

During the sessions, after singing that song again…
My God says to me: “This is what you asked for. Remember back in July when you prayed this as a prayer?”

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I let those words sink in “This is what you asked for.”

Lead me where my trust is without borders – wherever you would call me.

“Wherever” looks a lot like a  women’s conference in St. Cloud, Minnesota, that allowed me to reconnect with a youth group friend, set aside pride and accept freedom in the area of unknown, shed a layer of mistrust and step into deeper faith and relationship with Jesus, get real rest, and get my fight back.

Revelation set up camp in my spirit, mind, and body: I DID ask for THIS.

Standing in that auditorium with 3000 other Jesus chicks, one defiant tear snuck down my cheek, followed by countless tears:

of utter relief
of total repentance
of complete acceptance
of radical hope

Now, I can see God’s hand in it all.

He isn’t just answering a prayer,
He’s calling me deeper into holiness,
He’s beckoning me to himself so he can work through me
He’s creating space for me where my soul can rest
And I can firmly know that all the UNKNOWN places lead to HIM
For I am his and he is mine.

 

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