Bridging the Gap

The Titus 2 Woman

Lesson 12 - Submission

Teach the older women to live in a way that is appropriate for someone serving the Lord.  They must not go around speaking evil of others and must not be heavy drinkers.  Instead, they should teach the others what is good.  These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to take care of their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands.  Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.

Titus 2:3-5

 We are all called to submission.  You will submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Ephesians 5:21

 Paul addresses submission in Ephesians with 3 examples: 

 

1. Husbands & Wives

 You wives will submit to your husbands as you do to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:22

 And husbands must love their wives with the same love Christ showed the church.  He gave up His life for her.

Ephesians 5:25 

 

1. Children & Parents

 Children obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do.

Ephesians 6:1

 And now a word to you fathers.  Don’t make your children angry by the way you treat them.  Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction approved by the Lord.

Ephesians 6:4

 

1. Slaves and masters

 Slaves, obey your masters with deep respect and fear.  Serve them sincerely as you would serve Christ.

Ephesians 6:5 

And in the same way, you masters must treat your slaves right.  Don’t threaten them; remember you both have the same Master in heaven, and he has no favorites.

Ephesians 6:9

 In each example one person had more power, and one person has less power.  The one holding the greater power will either: 

• Lord it over the other person, control them, and use their power to make their own life easier
• Treat the person under them with respect and dignity and use their power carefully.  They feel a responsibility to care for the person.

 

      The person holding the lesser power will either:

• Resist, rebel, and make the authority’s life miserable in some way

• Honor the authority and serve them as unto the Lord

 

 Paul’s answer to these power struggles is SUBMISSION.

 “Submission means I voluntarily limit what I might do naturally in this relationship in order to benefit you.  If I have more power, instead of doing what I might do naturally and use that power to make my life easier, out of reverence for Christ  I’ll use my power instead to serve you.  I’ll give up even my life in order to benefit you.  Submission also means that if I have less power, instead of doing what I might do naturally and fight you every step of the way, I’m going to show you respect and honor.”

Kevin Miller

 

 Why are wives specifically called on to submit?

The Fall: Genesis 3

After Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden God punished them both, but He disciplined them differently.

Then he said to the woman, “You will bear children with intense pain and suffering.  And though your desire will be for your husband, he will be your master.”

Genesis 3:16

And to Adam he said, “Because you listened to your wife and ate the fruit I told you not to eat, I have placed a curse on the ground.  All your life you will struggle to scratch a living from it.”

Genesis 3:17 

We don’t punish our children the same way; we discipline them in a way that will remind them of what they did wrong.

Eve’s Curse: Pain in childbirth and loss of control – the very thing she exerted over Adam.

 “And though your desire will be for your husband, he will be your master.”

Genesis 3: 16b

 We are cursed to want them.  Even when we don’t want them – we want them.

P.B. Wilson 

• God said to Eve, “OK – you want to be the boss?  You will always want to control your husband’s life – and instead he will rule over you.”

• Have you ever heard a woman say, “I need a strong man or I will walk all over him”?

• We innately know our desire to control

 

 Adam’s Curse: you will have to work hard for everything, and you must rule a woman who has shown you that she does not want to be ruled.  You must assume leadership.

The curse took away all his leisure time and made him have to work.  Men instinctively want to relax (especially at home).  In reality, men don’t want to lead and women don’t want to submit.

• Adam lacked the strength to stand up to Eve in the Garden, so God is developing leadership in him by making him the head of the house.

• Eve was assigned the role of submission not because she lacked strength but because she was too strong.  Look at submission from this standpoint: God is using this to transform my husband and myself into what He wants us both to be.

 

  “My marriage has been the sandpaper the Lord has used to rub the rough edges off us both and make us into more of what He had in mind for us as individuals.”

Claire Cloninger

 What does submission look like?  Paul doesn’t give us specifics.  Paul never specifies any cultural action or practical application from this passage.

 But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all truth.

John 16:13 NIV 

 Paul seems to believe that if you’re filled with the Holy Spirit and you want to live out of reverence for Christ, then you’ll instinctively submit to each other. You’ll yield the right of way.  If you have an attitude of service toward your spouse, then the specifics of submission will be shown to you by the Holy Spirit when you’re faced with conflicts.

 

  Submission is personal.

 Paul doesn’t say, “Husbands, tell your wives to submit” – or “Wives, tell your husbands to step up and be the spiritual head of your home.”

We each are called to work on our own attitude.

Submission is practical.

 Eventually, in every relationship, there will come a time when a compromise cannot be reached, and someone has to make a decision.  Have you seen what happens to couples when they continue to have a power struggle without a clear resolution as to what to do at an impasse?

 

Character & Community: 

    Character:

• It goes against human nature and our culture to put others before ourselves
• It takes incredible strength to submit to your husband and other authorities in your life
• When you submit, you are protected

 

  Community:

• Encourage one another in submission
• Challenge each other to put aside self and be obedient
• What does your husband think about your friends?

 

Discussion Questions:

1. Why do you think Paul addresses power struggles in Ephesians 5?
2. What specific areas of your life to you find you want to control?
3. Give a specific example of an area of submission that the Holy Spirit has directed you in.

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