The Titus 2 Woman - Lesson 3 - Gossip

By Kristie Kerr 05/12/10

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The Titus 2 Woman

Lesson 3 - Gossip

 Teach the older women to live in a way that is appropriate for someone serving the Lord.  They must not go around speaking evil of others and must not be heavy drinkers.  Instead they should teach others what is good.  These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to live wisely and be pure, to take care of their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands.  Then they will not bring shame on the Word of God.

Titus 2:3-5

If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.

James 1:26

 Gossip 

  • Habitual revealing of personal or sensational facts
  • A person who chatters or repeats idle talk or rumors; especially the private affairs of others
  • A story that is TRUE that can damage a person’s reputation
  • Talking or writing about another person or situation in order to turn another’s opinion against that person or situation

 

 Slander 

  • The utterance of FALSE charges or misrepresentations which defame or damage another’s reputation.
  • A false and malicious report about someone
  • Spreading ill founded untrue things about others with the intent to injure them
  • Hearsay – what one hears but does not KNOW to be true

 

 Why do we gossip?

 

  • Pride/desire to Judge Others
  • We are tempted to judge others because we want to be the one who knows it all – and the one to decide who is good and bad

 

What about me?  Have I been faithful?  Well, it matters very little what you or anyone else thinks.  I don’t even trust my own judgment on this point.  My conscience is clear, but that isn’t what matters.  It is the Lord himself who will examine me and decide.  So be careful not to jump to conclusions before the Lord returns as to whether or not someone was faithful.  When the Lord comes, He will bring our deepest secrets to light and will reveal our private motives.  And then God will give to everyone whatever praise is due.

I Corinthians 4:3-5

  If a fellow believer hurts you, GO and tell him – work it out between the two of you.

Matthew 18:15

 So if you are standing before the altar in the temple offering a sacrifice to God, and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there beside the altar.  GO and be reconciled to that person and then come and offer your sacrifices to God.

Matthew 5:23-24

 

Letting off steam

 

Fire goes out for lack of fuel, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops.

Proverbs 26:20

 

  • Vengeance – punishment inflicted in retaliation for an injury or offense
  • Wanting to feel significant
  • Desire to feel important by being “in the know”
  • Rather than fearing insignificance, mature Christians embrace and glory in it

 

 He must increase, and I must decrease

John 3:30

When we understand our personal need for grace, we don’t try to make ourselves appear better than others.

 

Habit/Joining peers

 

  • Entertainment
  • Don’t have anything interesting to talk about
  • Too much idle talking eventually leads to talking about others

 

When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.

Proverbs 10:19

 

Discussion Questions:

  • Which of the reasons listed above sometimes lead you to gossip?
  • What have been some consequences of gossip in your experience?
  • Is there unresolved conflict in your life?  What is keeping you from going to the other person?
  • How do we tame our tongues? 
  1. The battle is in the mind 
  2. Rather than thinking negative things about others, we need to think of ways we can build them up.

Let your conversations always be full of grace and seasoned with salt.

Colossians 4:6

 

 Ask yourself:

  • Are my words going to edify? 
  • Are my words kind?
  • Have I used the words, “Don’t tell anyone else…but”
  • Is it true?  Do I have first hand knowledge?
  • Are you angry?  Are you speaking out of emotion or vengeance?
  • Are your words helpful?
  • Are you simply looking for someone to support “your side?”
  • Are you really looking for advice?  If you are truly seeking council, are you speaking with someone you can trust?  Will they give you Godly council or add fuel to the fire?

 

Stop talking!  Commit to putting a seal on your lips!

He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates the best of friends.

Proverbs 17:9

 

Think before you speak

It is foolish to belittle a neighbor; a person with good sense remains silent.

Proverbs 11:12

Be full of the Holy Spirit – and allow him to guide your conversations

Don’t act thoughtlessly, but try to understand what the Lord wants you to do.

Ephesians 5:17

Be willing to stop another person from leading you into gossip.

 

Plan Ahead - have things to talk about besides other people.

  • What is God doing in your life?
  • What are you reading?
  • What are your hobbies?

 

Simple people talk about other people.

Average people talk about things.

Wise people talk about ideas.

Author unknown

 

Time your phone conversations and cut them off before gossip begins

 

 A gossip tells secrets, so don’t hang around with someone who talks too much.

Proverbs 20:19

 

Character & Community 

Character:

  • Being personally responsible for the words that come out of our mouths
  • Being personally committed to avoiding gossip

 

Let the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to you O Lord

Psalm 19:14

 

Community: 

What if the church was known for our LACK of gossip?  What if we were widely regarded as a safe place – where failures and mistakes were held in confidence and we protected one another?

 Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

Ephesians 4:29