Bridging the Gap

The Titus 2 Woman

Lesson 5

Loving Your Husband

Teach the older women to live in a way that is appropriate for someone serving the Lord.  They must not go around speaking evil of others and must not be heavy drinkers.  Instead, they should teach the others what is good.  These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely, and be pure, to take care of their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands.  Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.

Titus 2:3-5 

What do you want your marriage to be like?  Have a personal marriage statement.   

 All things are created twice.  There is a mental or first creation, and then a physical or second creation.

 

Stephen Covey – “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”  

 

Difference between a goal and a desire:

 

A goal may be defined as a purpose to which a person is unconditionally committed.  He assumes unconditional responsibility for a goal, and it can be achieved if he is willing to work at it.

A desire may be defined as something wanted that cannot be obtained without the cooperation of anther person.  It is an objective for which a person can assume no responsibility because it is beyond his control.  Reaching a desire must never become the motivating purpose behind behavior, because then a person is assuming responsibility for something he cannot fulfill on his own.

Dr. Larry Crabb

 

Pray for your desires and work toward your goals.  Take a minute and write out some goals for your marriage.

 

Now write out some desires for your marriage.

 

Make good choices

 

Life is a series of choices.  Most of them are so small we usually don’t even realize we are making them or why we are making them.  Sometimes we call them reactions and disclaim any responsibility for them, not recognizing that reactions are choices too.

Linda Dillow, ‘How to Really Love Your Man”

 

• Our choices themselves seem small when looked at one at a time, but the cumulative effect is powerful.

 

• Does the sum of your choices show that you are working toward loving your husband?

 

Encouragement

 

 Applied specifically to a wife, encouragement is the kind of expression of love that helps my husband to want to be a better Christian, man, husband to me, and father to our children.

Linda Dillow, “How to Really Love Your Man”

 

Think of ways to encourage one another to outbursts of love and good deeds.

Hebrews 10:24-25

 

A wife can crush or encourage her man.  You more than any human being know his points of deepest need, his vulnerability, his areas of sensitivity, and his hidden weakness.  You also know better than anyone else his potential as a man, his areas of talent, and his hidden strength.

Linda Dillow, ‘How to Really Love Your Man”

 

So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.

I Thessalonians 5:11

 

How can you encourage him?

 

Take a look at yourself:

 

• Am I encouraging or criticizing?

• Am I using my intimate knowledge of him to strike a blow; or am I building him up so his strengths become stronger? 

• Are my words, thoughts, or countenance negative?

 

Change your thoughts:

 

• Am I focused on his weaknesses or strengths? 

• Do I look up to him – or down at him? 

• Are my thoughts toward him loving or unloving? 

 

Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right.  Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable.  Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Philippians 4:8

 

Choose your words carefully:

 

• How many times a day do you praise him? 

• How many times a day do you criticize him? 

• Leave 3 things unsaid every day

 

  I like people who refuse to speak until they are ready to speak.

Lillian Hellman

 

• When you need to discuss something – be considerate and respectful in the words you choose. 

• Write him notes or letters encouraging him

 

Pray for him:

 

The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and wonderful results.

James 5:16

 

• Pray for his spiritual life – that his relationship with Christ would be strengthen and growing 

• Pray for his leadership in your home 

• Pray for his job 

• Pray for his ministry 

• Pray for his schedule every day 

 

Let your actions reflect your love:

 

Decide to make your husband the #1 relationship in your life; above your children, parents, friends, boss, brothers and sisters…

 

• Your time should reflect your decision 

• Your energy should reflect your decision 

• Your attitude should reflect your decision 

 

Plan to do something special for him every day.

 

Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity

Proverbs 25:6

 

• Plan special deeds of kindness 

• Plan special times alone 

• Plan to serve him in some way every day 

 

And let our people also learn to maintain good works, to meet urgent needs, that they may not be unfruitful.

Titus 3:14

 

 Character & Community 

Character:

 

• Women who are actively investing in their marriages 

• #1 cheerleader

 

Let the wife make her husband glad to come home.

Martin Luther

 

Committed to praying for our husbands:

 

I pray for you constantly, asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you might grow in wisdom and understanding, so that you might grow in your knowledge of God.

Ephesians 1:16-17

 

 Community

 

• Inspiring each other in our marriages 

• Challenging our friends in their attitudes and actions

 

The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.

Proverbs 27:9

 

Experience is a great teacher.

 

Discussion Questions:

 

1.  Name a goal that you have for your marriage: (Remember the difference between a goal and a desire) 

2.  Share something about your husband that you admire: 

3.  Is there a relationship in your life that competes for the #1 spot with your husband?  Name a practical thing you can do this week to prefer him.

 

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