The Titus 2 Woman - Lesson 7 - Loving Your Children

By Kristie Kerr 08/12/10

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The Titus 2 Woman

Lesson 7

Loving Your Children

 

 

Teach the older women to live in a way that is appropriate for someone serving the Lord.  They should not go around speaking evil of others and must not be heavy drinkers.  Instead, they should teach others what is good.  These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and to be pure, to take care of their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands.  Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.

Titus 2:2-5

 

 

 

Piece of Cake!  Who doesn’t love their children?

 

 

2 Types of Love:

 

  1. Agape love
    1. The kind of love God has for us
    2. Unconditional
    3. Not dependant on actions or behavior

 

  1. Phileo love
    1. Tender affection
    2. Cherishing and respect 
    3. It is a friendship kind of love

 

 

Both types of love should be an active part of our relationship with our children.  A mom who not only loves them, but one who likes them too!

 

 

 

How can we love our children?

 

 

  1. Embrace the moments you have with them

 

  1. Our children aren’t always the easiest people to be around.

 

  1. We are usually “working” when we are with our children

 

  1. They don’t always rejuvenate and relax us.

 

  1. We are usually preoccupied and our children are often “interrupting” us.

 

  1. We are so busy “mothering” them, that we don’t take the time to understand and enjoy who they are and what they are learning

 

 

HOW CAN WE ENJOY THEIR COMPANY?

 

He gives the barren woman a home, so that she becomes a happy mother.

Psalm 113:9

 

  1. Marvel at their personalities, discoveries, and even tempers.

 

 

  1. Let them know that you love to spend time with them

 

Something about my father attracted me like a magnet.  When school was out, many times I would rush to his hardware store instead of going out with my friends.  What drew me to my father?  Why did I prefer a visit with him over some of my favorite activities?  As soon as I set foot in his store, it seemed as if his whole personality lit up.  His eyes sparkled, his smile gleamed, and his facial expressions immediately conveyed how glad he was to see me.

Gary Smalley “For Better or for Best”

 

  1. Stop!  Listen!  Make time for them!

 

Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery.

Joyce Brothers

 

  1. Prefer them

 

Now let me tell you about another mother whom my friend Beverly and I both admired as a Christian, a wife, and a mother.  When we called to schedule a get–together, she invited us to a lovely lunch which we enjoyed in her breakfast room.  From our table inside, however, we could see another table outside on her patio – a table set with linen placemats, starched linen napkins, freshly cut flowers in a vase, two sterling sliver spoons, two crystal plates, and two crystal goblets for ice water.  That lovely table had been set in honor or her teenage daughter’s much anticipated arrival home from school.  This thoughtful, loving mom had two more desserts waiting in the refrigerator – and she did something like this ever day!  At 2:30, this wise mother – a mother who understood her priorities – began to shoo the two of us out the door because someone more special was coming!  She graciously said, “Well, I’m sorry we have to end this, but I’m expecting my daughter home in 15 minutes, and that’s our special time.”

Elizabeth George from “A Woman After God’s Own Heart”

 

 

 

 

  1. Make sure your family knows that they are your priority and your favorite people in the world.

 

 

Don’t give away to others what you have not given away first at home

Elizabeth George – “A Woman After God’s Own Heart”

 

  1. Our time

 

  1. Our conversation

 

  1. Our energy

 

  1. Our patience

 

  1. Our smiles and joy

 

 

If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don't be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning "Good morning" at total strangers.

Maya Angelou

 

 

  1. Be authentic

 

There is something so artificial about us moms pretending to be all knowing and all tolerating.  Outraged, terrified, grossed out, these are all emotions that any mother of a toddler feels washing over her like overlapping waves on the shore of her psyche.  We aren’t detached and professional in our mothering.  We are deeply vulnerable, hopelessly devoted and slightly guilty that we don’t know more about this mothering business than we do.

Vicki Iovine, “The Girlfriends Guide to Toddlers”

 

 

 

 

  1. Own up to your mistakes and shortcomings

 

  • Ask for their forgiveness when you have wronged them

 

  • Let them see you fail – they will learn what to do when THEY fail

 

  1. Be transparent about your spiritual journey

 

Our challenge as parents and friends of young children is to live out our relationship with God in such a reality and with such passion that we stir the same desire in them

Sheila Walsh from “A Love So Big”

 

  • Share with them what God is teaching you

 

  • Let them hear you pray for forgiveness and wisdom

 

  • Let them see you worship

 

 

 

 

 

  1. Be a safe place for your children

 

 

The indecency charge was the one that really made me appreciate my home base.  It was a horrible thing to be eleven years old and caught pen in hand, sketching vulgarities.  My world crashed in.  All was discovered.  I ran home and told my mother, through bitter tears, “And…and…I’m going to get kicked out of school!”  The world had ended.  I will never forget the miracle as she assimilated this desperate news, pondered it a moment, and resolved the problem with adult dispatch.  Yes, my mother heard the sordid tale without reproach, hugged me and soaked up my tears.  Father was called in for some somber discussion and prayer; and interview was arranged with the principal in which it was agreed to remove some copies of National Geographic which were deemed lewd.  In short, my life in the community was salvaged with minimal disgrace.  It was a miracle.

John Kerr “In the Cleft of the Rock”

 

 

  1. Let them know that they aren’t perfect – and their failures aren’t fatal.

 

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

Romans 3:23

 

 

  1. Teach them about grace and mercy

 

But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so very much, that even while we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead – it is by grace you have been saved.

Ephesians 2:4-5

 

 

 

 

  1. Trust them

 

 

Trust is the opposite of control.  It is easier for us to be authoritarian parents, to have strict rules, and build solid boundaries so we don’t have to deal with all the messiness freedom can bring.

Barbary Henry “Woman to Woman”

 

 

Teach your children to choose the right path, and when they are older, they will remain upon it.

Proverbs 22:6

 

 

Trust is the intangible glue that cements relationships

Pat Springle

 

 

 

 

Character & Community:

 

  1. Character

 

Our home certainly changed when I discovered God’s call to enjoy my children.  Oh, the praying and the training continued, but I let the party begin!  God worked in my heart and changed me as I obeyed His Word.  I noticed that, as I poured my life into the training and discipline and instruction God commanded, I began to treasure my children.  I saw my children as more than my duty.  They became people I wanted to be with, people I had fun with and played with, people whom God wanted to be my highest human priority after my husband.

Elizabeth George from “A Woman After God’s Own Heart”

 

  1. Community
    1. Share ideas with your friends about how you are enjoying your children
    2. Set an example by preferring your family over other relationships

 

 

 

Discussion Questions:

 

1.   What are some special things that you do with your children?

 

2.  Is there an area where you are giving to others before your family?

 

3.  In what area do you struggle with authenticity with your kids?