I’m Not Enough

I’m not good enough.  I’m not smart enough.  I’m not pretty enough.  I’m not talented enough.  Enough.  Enough.  Enough.

Somehow we have allowed ourselves to believe the lie that we are not enough.  If only we could be more than we are, then we would be enough.  Unfortunately, we end up striving for unattainable perfection when we are imperfect people.

When I was dating my future husband, I almost broke up with him because I knew he wanted to be a pastor.  Even though I had grown up in the church and felt like I had a decent relationship with Christ, I didn’t feel like I was “enough” to be married to a pastor.  I don’t sing or play piano. I don’t spend hours praying.  I may seem like a nice person, but I really am impatient and selfish.  How could someone like me be a pastor’s wife?

I can look at so many other aspects of my life and feel like I don’t measure up to the “ideal”.  Maybe some people look at me and think I have it all together and under control, but if they could see inside, they would see an insecure person who must fight the impulse to believe that I’m not good enough, not right for what I do and never will be.

In Exodus 3 God speaks to Moses, explaining that Moses will bring the Israelites out of Egypt.  Moses responds in verse 11, “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”  Moses continues to question God and express his doubts about his abilities and even asks God to send someone else in Exodus 4.  This is the same guy about whom God says, “I am pleased with you and I know you by name” (Exodus 33:17).  Despite Moses’ inadequacies, God looked upon him favorably and chose to use him. 

We often make Bible characters into super heroes when in reality they were flawed beings like ourselves.  We convince ourselves that since they were in the Bible, they must be so much more than we are.  We look at people we see in our lives now, think they must have it all together, and we must be like them.  If I could be look or act like her…If I could do what she does…If only I didn’t…

We put expectations on others and ourselves to conform to an ideal of perfection.  We can never rise up to that perfection.  We will never be enough. 

We have to be okay with that.  We have to accept that God designed us how He wanted.  He has purpose in our imperfection.  Can we accept how God made us?  Can we accept that we are not enough?  Can we trust that God desires to use us just the way we are?

Amber Woller

Author Amber Woller

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