Throughout my life when I have faced something hard, God has given me the grace to find refuge in Him.  I have repeatedly found comfort in His presence and hope in His Word, drawing closer to Him during trials instead of letting them erode my faith.  The other night was an exception.

I had been through a couple of days of intense emotion.  I was angry, exhausted and in despair.  I felt bitterness and apathy starting to course through my veins, like it was eager to completely envelope me if I surrendered.  Instantly I thought of the scene in Star Wars III, where Anikan is battling with the bitterness of loss.  The emperor watches and says in his sinister drone, “Yes.  Yes.  Surrender to the dark side.”  On the other side of the movie screen we are championing him, “NO!  Don’t do it Anikan!  See this for what it is!”  But of course he does not hear our cheers and the dark side wins him over.

The enemy of our souls also lies in wait, watching and saying in his sinister drone, “Yes.  Yes.  Surrender to your bitterness, your apathy, your hatred.”  But just as we cheer for Anikan on the other side of the movie screen, we have a crowd cheering for us on the other side of eternity.  Hebrews 12:1 tells us that we are surrounded by a great cloud of faithful witnesses.  They sit with the Creator of all championing us not to surrender to the sin that is so eager to consume us.

No matter what your trial, whether it’s coping with an illness, dealing with a loss, struggling with a broken marriage, don’t surrender to the enemy’s destructive plan by throwing away your faith.  See it for what it is- a grotesque plot to separate you from your Creator, your infinitely loving Creator, who longs for you to find refuge in Him.

Instead of surrendering that night, I wrote a letter to my God.  It was full of raw emotion.  I told Him how angry I was.  I told Him how tired I was of trying to do what’s right in such a difficult place and how I desired to be vindicated.  And once again he lovingly refreshed me with His Word, reminding me not to grow weary in well doing because at the proper time I will reap a harvest if I do not give up (Galatians 6:9), and not to throw away my confidence, because it will be richly rewarded (Hebrews 10:35).   For this is about more than the here and now.  Life is bigger than the situation at the moment.  And the change you seek, could be just around the bend.