In our country, abortion is a touchy topic. When we are in our close circle of friends, we may speak candidly about our opinions, but many of us do not voice such things publicly.
I’ve chosen to mostly not talk about abortion in public, mainly because I do not want women who have had them to feel condemned.
But sometime last year, a woman I was friends on Facebook with through our ties to a homeschool community posted a cartoon talking about how abortion is more than justified for children conceived in rape, it is the socially responsible thing to do.
My normally calm Facebook attitude took a turned into a red-hot smoking mama ready to drive to said woman’s location and duke it out.
It wasn’t my years of growing up in the evangelical church, or even the time spent in my father’s print shop observing freshly printed pamphlets displaying aborted children in the age of scaring someone out of having an abortion.
No, my rage came from somewhere much closer to home. You see, my oldest daughter was conceived in rape. And when you say abortion is justified in the case of rape, you are saying that a person’s value is weighed against the circumstances of their conception.
We would never look at a child who has been adopted and say they are less than equal, but that is exactly what is being said when people claim abortion is justified in the case of rape.
It might be enough for me to talk about how my daughter’s life has brought joy to so many around her. Or how she brought our family together in a time of tremendous sorrow.
I could even share about how her brilliance will enhance the world, and how God has given her an amazing future.
But that’s not why I’m so adamant on this subject.
My reasoning comes from a heart of despair. I have watched as my oldest daughter has struggled with who she is. As she has cried and shut down not only about how she came into this world, but also about a half of her she will never know.
Try as I might, she still sees herself from a worldly perspective. A perspective that tells her she is unnecessary, unimportant, and without value.
I’m not saying that it was always easy for me to be pregnant with her or a parent after what happened to me. It wasn’t; it was hard and I cried out to God a lot. But I didn’t look at her as though she were some gruesome reminder of a terrible act against me. And even though she resembles her biological father, I know that the imprint of her Heavenly Father is much greater.
I knew my child was more than the sum of her beginnings. I knew she was created with a purpose, that she was not an afterthought or an accident.
And seeing my daughter today only solidifies my initial thoughts.Like the rest of us she struggles with building her relationship with Christ. She questions the things around her and wonders about her future. And the older she gets, the more I see God’s plan wrapped around her life.
But how do we change the view that these children are disposable? Is it really enough to just condemn the practice? Or to slap a bumper sticker on our car?
I think not. I think our actions speak volumes, and some of the things I think are vital in changing this mentality include:
– Reaching out to single mothers who have chosen life by not only encouraging them, but giving them a shoulder to lean and/or cry on.
– Recognizing that these mothers were commissioned by God to parent just like any other household.
– Showing these children that they are more than enough by being a part of their lives and giving them a strong sense of community.
– Recognizing that these small families are exactly who Jesus would have targeted in his ministry and who he would want us to target as well.
I really hope that my daughter is able to overcome the lack of love the world has for her; there are plenty of people who do not see her value as coming from God. But I hope that she is able to surpass those assumptions and preconceived ideas to be able to see the value she has in Christ. Because despite what the world around her says about how she was conceived or her biological father or her value, she is a daughter of the one true King, a princess, perfect in his eyes.
Your post made my heart sad for how your daughter feel. I applaud you for carrying her even though she came from a painful experience. I applaud you for keeping her and not giving her away. I applaud you for loving her, for teaching her she has worth to you but most important to the one who formed her in your womb. I applaud you for being a wise hearted woman. Now I am going to go read her blog.
Sorry for the almost 1 year late reply! lol
Thanks so much for your comment Betty 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing your very real and painful story. I will pray for your daughter to see her God-given purpose in this life.