This was supposed to be some encouraging moms article, meant to remind you just how awesome you all are (you SO are!), or so I thought. Funny how we decide what God means sometimes isn’t it? I felt the title Let it Go laid on my heart weeks ago and I went with the idea of Mother’s day, and mommyhood. I mean, for one thing the song itself is one many mom’s could sing in their sleep because it has been on repeat in their homes for so long. But the more I tried to fit the title and the momma love into a cohesive and enticing package (it has to be enticing right? ) the more jumbled and lumpy it got.
Stop. Pray. Rethink this thing. That is what I had to do, and while doing so it is amazing how many situations came my way that I needed to let go.
I think I got wrapped up in the desire to resonate with you gals in the way I did with last year’s post about mothering. It felt good to encourage you and admittedly, it felt good to be heard, and shared. I don’t think it got to my head, but I did find myself trying to recreate the experience instead of speak from the heart here, now, just me. So, when putting so much effort into being relevant and resonating (and alliterating apparently) I hit a large…blank…wall.
Blank walls stink.
I realized I have been skirting that blank wall for quite awhile, in an oblivious need to write something really awesome. I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t flowing in words until now, but I do believe it was because I had decided (subconsciously of course, as I have an uber-talented and sneaky subconscious) that nothing I had to say was post-worthy or inspiring.
Insert embarrassed blush and sheepish look here.
It wasn’t until I realized this and felt my spirit resonate God’s words… let it go girl, that it clicked. Ah.
That was for me.
There are several situations in my life that I can’t control right now, but maybe if I were witty enough, inspiring enough, insert any positive word here enough… then I might be enough? There. I said it, I had fallen back into the not feeling as though I am ‘enough’ and therefore I must do, do, do to be… enough.
I don’t want to be anything more than me for you girls. Because I truly believe we are enough just as we are. God says we are. I believe and trust him, even when my actions show otherwise. God forgive me, and help my unbelief!
So here I am. Enough. Letting go of once again trying to be what I consider enough and falling back into the Truth that God says I am.
To prove it, the photo above is my kitchen sink. Yep. Gross.
It doesn’t always look like this, and there were extenuating circumstances in the magnitude of the piles there (including that I feed seven people per meal!) BUT so what if it was the norm? Does that make me less than? Does it make you less than? Absolutely not.
Does it define who I am? I don’t think so.
It may show a glimpse of my priorities, but that would be about it.
I know that it wouldn’t change who you are in my eyes, so why not trust you to do the same?
Want to join me in letting go of the expectations we put on ourselves to look and be a certain way? Especially online? What can you let go of? Will you show grace and love when others let go and allow you to see?
Oh how beautiful it is to be safe to let go with those who will love us any way we are.
Lets let go girls.