(Head down)

(The air is heavy with hesitation)

(Muttered under my breath) Hello, my name is Julie, and I am fashion-challenged.

(HUGE sigh of relief) Whew! There. I finally said it.

It feels good to get that off my chest. It’s something that I’ve been trying to hide for years!

As long as I’m at it, I might as well share something else with you ladies. You’re safe people, right?  Well, I hope so anyway. (Deep breath.) Ok, here goes. If I play my cards right, in a month or so, Nordstrom’s may lift the ban they have on me setting foot in the women’s department. You see, apparently even the people who monitor their security cameras have caught me trying to piece a couple of outfits together with results that (in their terms) “were too hideous for the general public to view.”

But how’s a gal to know unless you try them on, right?

Ummm…apparently that’s wrong.

Seriously though — I’m the one that appears to ogle store mannequins (yes, that’s me being serious). But in my defense, it’s in an attempt to understand how someone chose to coordinate this top with those slacks, or that scarf with this blouse. I’m just not gifted in the way of fashion.

And that ladies, doesn’t even touch on the fact that I’m color-challenged. No, I won’t use the term color-blind, because I can SEE the color – so clearly I’m not color-blind — it just isn’t the color that I think it is, or even guess it might be. Are you feeling my pain here? Again, that part is serious (and true).

But that doesn’t stop me from wanting to pull off a stylishly feminine look. In fact, I would love to be able to put an outfit together that not only feels good when I wear it, but also makes me feel like I’m 100% woman – without showing certain body parts to prove that I’m just that…a woman.  

But even with all of my fashion issues, I can honestly hand out a few tips and tricks that will work for anyone. Well, if they work for me, I can only imagine they’d work for anyone:

  • Dress for success. Don’t go out in your jammies unless it’s only to your garage or to let the dog out in the morning.
  • Wear the right size. Everyone looks better in clothes that fit – you’ll also feel more attractive too!
  • Don’t flaunt what you’ve got. (You know what I mean here).  Keep your body parts safely tucked in at all times. There’s no reason for the girls to make a special public appearance of any kind.
  • Find out what your color palette is – it will save you lots of moola by knowing which colors look good on you, and which ones don’t.
  • Not all of us can afford BCBG or Chanel, but you can find some really great pieces on sale racks, in discount stores, and in consignment shops. I myself have found AMAZING deals in consignment shops…
  • Modest is hottest. Don’t be afraid to be feminine. After all, God DID make you a female…and he doesn’t make mistakes.
  • If it’s not comfortable, leave it at the store because you probably won’t want to wear it much when you get it home — if it itches, is too tight, too loose, or hangs funny on you.
  • Add a little glitter or bling – somehow it just seems to brighten an otherwise dull outfit.

And last but certainly not least:

  • Remember that YOU are one of a kind. And God made you beautiful, just as you are!