Little girls dream of growing up and one day marrying prince charming. They dream of their prince riding up on his white horse, sweeping her off her feet, and living happily ever after. It’s fun to dream, to imagine what your future husband will look like and where you’ll live, what names you’d give your children and how many you might have. It’s almost picture perfect, this dream. But what do you do when you’re no longer a little girl? Not only that, but you’re divorced, a single mom, and almost a half a century old! What does your prince charming look like then?
The full definition of Prince Charming in the Merriam-Webster dictionary reads: “A suitor who fills the dreams of his beloved.” Sounds pretty romantic, doesn’t it? Although this is a wonderful ideal to the living-happily-ever-after story, unfortunately it’s not realistic. Marriage is hard. It brings out the best and the worst in us. Now the Learner’s definition states what most might have on a checklist somewhere: “A man who is handsome, brave, polite, etc., and would be a perfect husband or boyfriend.” Sounds like the tall, dark, and handsome I jokingly mention when people ask me what I’m looking for. But since when is being tall, dark, handsome, brave, and polite a determination of being a perfect suiter? It’s not!
We want to be at peace knowing the one we love and who truly loves us will never leave or forsake us. Never is a strong word. Sounds wonderful, but we all know that many seemingly “perfect” marriages are destroyed by sin. So the truth is that no matter what, we will be dating and possibly marrying a sinner! A sinner who has the potential to hurt us, disappoint us, betray us, and yes, even leave us. Sounds pretty scary, doesn’t it!
In our fear of what our future might look like, we need to turn to the one who already knows. That is hard to do sometimes when our longing is so strong that our perception is blurred by sweet words and gratifying attention. Our loneliness can be a surefire way to cause us to choose poorly. We have desire, insecurity, and loneliness to deceive us in our search for a “suitor who will fill the dreams of his beloved.”
So what does a real Prince Charming look like, and how do we have peace when searching for him? We pray for God to lead us! We ask him to shut doors where he does not want us to enter. We change the definition of Prince Charming!
First and foremost, Prince Charming needs to be a follower of Christ! Not just in words but in action. Does he talk about believing in God but never goes to church, prays, or reads his bible? If that’s the case, he is not the Prince Charming you are looking for. Galatians 2:20 says: “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”
If Christ is living in him, he will be a man after God’s own heart. He will live by faith in the Son of God! Those are pretty powerful words! Living by faith in the Son of God means you trust what God says to be true and follow his teachings.
Second Corinthians 6:14 also teaches, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”
Yes, this prince charming will still fall. Yes, he will still make mistakes and probably hurt you. But if he has the Spirit of God in him, your chances of finding that “suitor that fulfills your dreams” will be led by God and not by the flesh. I have heard it said that if a man has a vertical relationship with the Lord, then his horizontal relationships will reflect that.
So dream on, beautiful princesses! Your Prince has always been with you. I hear he even owns a white horse!
Lisa Ambrosch is a single mom to seven. She has a heart for people and gets excited about the power of transformation! She enjoys spending time watching her six grandchildren grow. Lisa advocates for healthy living through her commitment to eating right and exercising. Her interest in writing and creative thought gives her the opportunity to challenge others to think outside the box. Most importantly, she loves the Lord!