A friend recently defined singleness to me as “the working woman’s disease.”
I was astonished. Since when has not having a significant other been on the same level as suffering a physical, mental, or emotional defect?
Is there a medical term for it? Do they make prescriptions for this ailment?
“Doc, I’m terminally single. I don’t know what to do.”
“Oh, yes that is bad. Here, take these pills. Call me if Prince Charming hasn’t shown up by morning.”
Movies, books, music and television have us convinced that we need someone else to make our lives happy. Social media doesn’t help either. We see photos of our friends on dates and our jealousy meter swings into motion.
But where in Scripture does it say that happiness is only found through…a date?
King Solomon was known as the wisest man in the world. Even he grew weary and sad. But he trusted God. “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 1:1, NLT)
God has already purposed everything in our lives. If we’re in a time of singleness, then he has a reason.
Later, Solomon writes: “Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” (Song of Songs 2:7, 3:5, 8:4, NIV)
Three times, we are warned the exact same way.
The wisest man in all of history warned us not to rush love, but to wait on God, because his timing is best for us.
Singleness is not a defect, nor a disease.
It is a time where we learn to shape our lives around God. It gives us the unique opportunity of drawing closer to him in ways we couldn’t if we had someone else to focus on. What could be better than spending alone time in the presence of the Almighty? While you are single, you have less pressure to make time for him.
Singleness is a time for growth. Not just spiritually, but intellectually and personally as well. Expand your network, travel, meet new people, form new hobbies, and discover the world you live in. Single life provides a freedom in which to do these things.
And being single equals time to find freedom from addictions, worries, and problems that plague our lives.
It also allows us to discover who we are. Our identity in Christ shapes our thinking and our worldview. Who we are in Christ must be something we know, something we walk in confidently before we can ever have a healthy relationship with a significant other.
When we’re closer to the Lord, we’re less concerned with the future. We learn to trust him by spending time with him through reading the Bible daily and praying regularly.
I know that it’s hard to watch your friends on social media, getting married and having kids. I know because I’m right there with you, single and watching the clock tick by and the years pass.
I got impatient and tired of waiting. I tried things my way.
I did everything I could for a relationship that was never meant to work. Like a song stuck on repeat, until finally I threw myself at Jesus’ feet and cried, “Lord, I just don’t know what I’m doing wrong!”
He held me, stroked my hair, and replied, “Your soul is thirsty, but you’re looking for water in desert places. Trust my living water instead.”
Jesus is the only one who can satisfy that longing inside.
When we’re lonely, we’re not just longing for someone. Our souls have become hungry for the presence of God.
Instead of seeking a date, spend time with him. Pray. Read the Bible. Sing and listen to worship music. Fellowship with other believers.
Jesus offers the satisfaction we all crave. Beloveds, don’t rush to what the world wants. Rush to him. Enjoy what you have, discover who you are. Be thankful for each small moment and revel in the next.
This single life is only burdensome if you decide it should be. I pray that instead, you’ll let it be a blessed time between you and the Father.