I’ve dedicated myself to prayer and fasting this week, desperate to hear from God about seemingly impossible situations. I’ve prayed and thought. And thought and prayed… and worried. There’s been lots and lots of worry.
Sometimes I wonder if I am praying at all or just worrying about potential disasters. As I pray for wisdom, I begin to think of possible scenarios and carry them down extensive rabbit trails of ‘what ifs.’ Ten minutes later, I realize that I have not been directing my thoughts toward God whatsoever, nor have I been opening my heart to gain the wisdom for which I have been asking. So I recognize it and try to refocus. To no avail, my mind races down more rabbit trails… I stop and refocus, but the cycle goes on and on. My mind is a mess! Where’s the clarity? Where’s the peace? Where’s my faith?
Before his nap today, I was reading the story of Moses to my three-year-old. He loves to hear about the burning bus (bush). The story was coming to a close when I turned the final page to find the Israelites standing on dry ground in the middle of the Red Sea. As I looked at them passing through walls of water, I heard it clearly: Have you forgotten? Have you forgotten that this is true? Have you forgotten that I parted seas, calmed seas, created seas… and that the same power that did all of these things is able to intervene in your situation, too?
And there it was. My faith. Faith that came by hearing the Word of God, just as it says in Romans 10:17. I had sensed God calling me to spend time in His Word during my prayer times, but I kept getting distracted. These distractions led me to a place of mental turmoil. But just as the Word of God parted, calmed, even created the seas, His Word brought peace to the sea of chaos in my mind.
God has replaced the chaos in my mind with an amazing amount of clarity. While I have not yet received definitive direction about my situation, what’s clear is this: God’s Word is true! He is able to do more than I can ask or even imagine. And he cares for me. This is what anchors me no matter what my circumstance may be. I will not forget my anchor. I will not forget.