I came home from church on Sunday, after hearing a sermon on gossip, and decided to spend a few minutes reading our local newspaper.  We live in a VERY small town and one of the many things our paper includes is a police and sheriff’s report.  In other words, if you take the time to read it you can get the low-down on the wrong-doings of your friends and neighbors, and even some unfortunate souls who have the audacity to drive around without wearing their seatbelts as they visit our fair city.  I’ve never been a huge fan of this section of the paper but I must admit it does give me extra motivation to mind my P’s and Q’s when driving around town, especially since offender’s ages are given alongside their name when posted in the paper.  As if getting a ticket isn’t bad enough!

Of course, having just heard the sermon on gossip, as I read this section I thought to myself, “isn’t this exactly what Pastor was talking about?  Do I really need to know who didn’t wear their seatbelt or who got arrested with a DUI? ” And yes, it also occurred to me that I could stop reading it but then what would I have to write about?  In all fairness to me, I usually do skip this column when reading the paper, but no, I’m not perfect and have, a time or two, been known to gossip.  I’m sorry.

Since I’m not going to share any names it isn’t gossip, I don’t believe, for me to tell you of some of the “important” items found in our police report.  The first one really got my attention as a young person had been cited for “after hours consumption.”  I’m not really a drinker myself but I was certainly unaware of the fact that there is an hour of the day at which you have to stop.  Is there a specified start time, also?  Inquiring minds want to know.

In other news, in ONE day there were 18 citations given for seatbelt violations.  In fact, seatbelt violations were the number one crime in our little town between the dates of May 19 – 30.  I don’t want to leave you thinking that nothing more serious than seatbelt violations, speeding, and unlawful drinking goes on in our town.  It’s just that when something really big comes along it isn’t relegated to the police report; it’s on the front page.  We certainly wouldn’t want anyone to miss the really juicy gossip!

What I love most about the police report is the subtitle which reads “Keeping you informed, while we keep you safe.”  How does letting me know who got a speeding ticket or was arrested for a DUI keep me safe?  Tell me who’s on the loose!  That’s what I want to know!