I love to look at Proverbs 31 woman and learn from her, and we can learn much about being a wife. Proverbs 31:11 tells us that this man had full confidence in his wife. That word confidence is transliterated in Hebrew as batach and means: trusts, relies on, puts confidence in, finds security, and believes in her with his entire heart, emotions, mind, thoughts, and understanding.
Okay, make sure you get this; the first part of this verse is telling us that everything inside this husband finds security, confidence, and protection in his wife. He can trust her with not only his physical needs, but he knows that he can trust her with his heart and emotions. He knows they are safe with her. Many times in relationships we girls do a pretty good job of taking care of all of our husband’s physical needs such as the housework, the laundry, the kids, the dry cleaning, etc. The problem is that we aren’t always as good about taking care of his heart. This has been the most challenging thing God has called me to. Taking good care of my husband’s heart. I am constantly having to apologize for nagging and abruptly spewing out rude comments in the heat of my anger. There is nothing that stings more to me than to see my husband get crushed by my piercing tongue. Can you relate? I want nothing more than my husband to be able to trust me with his heart…his whole heart. What about you? Is your husband able to trust you with his heart? Put his full confidence in you?
God is teaching me to honor my husband. The word honor means to add value to something, to treat it as precious and weighty, to revere and show respect. When you and I honor our husband we are regarding him as valuable. Sometimes there can be a gap between what our husbands are really like and what we would like them to be. Please be aware that honor doesn’t speak to where our husbands are, it speaks to where we see them being. Honor doesn’t point out all of the things within the gap. Take a look at Amplified Bible’s version of Ephesians 5:33 and allow its rich content to guide you in what honoring your husband would look like. This version does a fantastic job of offering us the words from the original Greek.
However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly].
Now take a look at the definitions of each of these words…
She notices him Notice: somebody’s attention, observation, or consideration
She regards him Regard: to consider somebody or something; to think of somebody or something as having a particular nature or quality or a particular role or function
She prefers him Prefer: to like somebody or something better; give priority to somebody; promote somebody
She esteems him Esteem: value somebody or something highly; to have a high regard for somebody or something
She defers to him Defer: grant precedence to; to give way to, and usually acknowledge the merit of somebody else’s judgment, opinion, wishes, or action
She praises him Praise: expression of admiration; words that express approval or admiration
She loves him Love: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails…” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
I can only pray that you have been half as challenged as I have been by breaking down this list. Each one of these things reflect honor. When we apply each of these to our marriage we are saying to our husband “you are valuable and I honor you“. Listen girls, God thinks your man is very valuable and you have to be sure that you treat him as such. Pray over this list you have studied today. Ask God to reveal to you the areas you fall short in and ask him for wisdom in how to begin to honor that man he has given you. I heard a pastor’s wife once say, “Don’t forget how long you prayed to get that man. Now you have him, so you had better treat him right!” I think that is very good advice, don’t you?