I’m just his wife..
I can’t count how many times I’ve heard ‘Oh, you’re Pastor Andrew’s wife’, or ‘I thought you looked familiar’. It comes with the territory. Yes my husband is a pastor, he knows exponentially more people than I do, and I am ok with that. I’m more of a keep to myself kindof girl. One-on-one conversations are where it is at for me. We are a good balance, Andrew and I, and we make it work pretty well. But I have found myself at times wondering what my role really is. Andrew walks into that church every day, works his heart out, gives himself fully to the calling on his life, and I stay home, changing pooping diapers, answering the question ‘why’ at least 100 times, cleaning, making food, and spending plenty of time at local parks and zoos. I love it, I really do, but I have found myself asking the question ‘is this it?’ at times.
I have heard the youth staff at church (Andrew, and two of his best friends Brent and Micah) often reference each other as armor bearers. Sounded great, and I only comprehend about half of what these crazy cats say to each other. So I left it be.. Until one Wednesday night, an incredible female youth leader approached me and in tears told me she admires how I have taken the role as my husband’s armor bearer. I thanked her, gave her a hug, and had a big question in my head. What exactly does she think I do? I did some digging that night. This is what I found – I am called to be so much more than just his wife..
Author Terry Nance states: ‘The main function of one who is designated as an armor bearer is that of service… for the biblical armor bearer was much more than a hired hand. An armor bearer was a person who undoubtedly spent many hours, if not one’s entire life, in the leader’s service.”
Armor bearing in the attitude of service is not just the performing of humble tasks, but is an effort to serve Christ in the Kingdom of God.
Philippians 2:3-4 – “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility and regarding others as better than yourselves. Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others”.
Jonathon, son of Saul, told his armor bearer they were going to an enemy outpost. The armor bearer said “go ahead; I am with you heart and soul”.
Here is my take on what a wife can be to her husband:
- Carry his armor through prayer and intercession. Pray with him and for him and CHOOSE to love – you need to wake up each and every morning and choose to love your spouse, some days will be easier than others, but it is a choice that you must make.
- Lift up his arms – be his strength in his weakness
- Make sure he is well equipped by being his main source of support, so he KNOWS you are fighting alongside him – When I asked Andrew what he thought an armor bearer was, he told me that he believes he can do anything when he knows I believe in him. Powerful stuff.
- Be the main source of encouragement by remembering the power of your words – you should be your spouses PRIMARY source of encouragement. The words you speak to him and about him in front of others carry incredible weight.
- Have the same goal in mind – to defeat the enemy and expand the kingdom of Jesus Christ. Always keep your focus on the Lord. Your character is the most important quality in your life in regards to what your spouse will need/want from you. Spend time developing yourself internally/spiritually each and every day.
- Be a loyal partner by always having his back. Your spouse wants to know that he can trust you. It takes men longer to be open with their heart and feelings so when he opens up you need to be trusted with that information.
- Be selfless – you would lay down your life for the King.
An armor bearer is the most important and skilled soldier in the army – as Andrew goes to battle every day I am right there with him, heart and soul.