Maybe it’s my English editor geekiness, but I am just not good with acronyms. Between LOL, BRB, and YOLO, I’m constantly having to stop and remember the correct phrases. Rather than encouraging brevity, it’s an exercise in painfully slow futility. Call me old — I did hit the big 3-0 this year, which is ancient when it comes to modeling, gymnasts, and technology — but it’s exhausting.

Here’s how my brain computes text and chat-speak:

  • BRB. Excuse me! I knew I drank too much pop…
  • IMHO. I’m on my way to the IHOP.
  • LOL. I’m lolling in a field of flowers. Next time you see me, I’ll be gamboling with sheep.
  • QT. Are we playing football? Because I’m really bad with remembering positions!
  • ROFL. Sorry, I have uncontrollable dietary issues. BRB.
  • LMBO. “Jack be nimble, jack be quick, jack go round the limbo stick!” (or the less-appropriate LMAO, which sounds like LAME-O to me.) Next up, charades.
  • TTFN. Tigger has left the building!
  • YOLO. Sounds like “holla,” and I’ve never been cool enough to say that.

I know that it’s not the internet — it’s me. But I can’t seem to stop. I feel like I’m constantly trying to identify things, and not just acronyms. Snap Chat. Memes. Tumblr and Flickr (why no “e”? Gah!).

If you’re feeling left behind, you’re not alone. Take it from someone who is ready to go cry into her coffee Tumblr. But I remind myself — this technology, too, shall pass. And in the meantime, thank God for Google.