Last time I guest blogged here, we were in the middle of a very tiring and challenging journey, looking for answers to our son’s medical diagnosis. After 18 months of visiting specialists and running a battery of tests, we found out just before his second birthday that he has a rare genetic abnormality. We’re now about 18 months from that point and have learned so much about what that means for him developmentally and how we can come alongside him in his growth and in attaining new skills. He is doing so well and has grown so much; we’re so proud of him and thankful for all God has enabled him to do so far!
What I didn’t realize in being his mom is that along with the pride and gratitude I felt for every new skill and every new word used in context, I also had developed quite an insecurity in my mothering abilities due to all of the questions and looks people have given us since he was born. Questions regarding his size and slowness regarding meeting milestones — you name it, we’ve been questioned. I thought I was “over it” and at a really good place, comfortable in my mom-skin, until we recently welcomed our daughter to the world.
Everything with her has been so… well, typical, in a really good way. Feeding every two to three hours, sleeping well, gaining weight and growing taller, meeting milestones right on track. It’s been markedly different these first 11 weeks of her life and I feel so much more confident in mothering her. I actually shared with my dad that I think I’m a dang good momma — just a few short weeks after having her.
This was a huge shift in my mind and heart and all glory to the work of our Father God in me. In seeing my value as being his daughter. I delight so much in my daughter, even when all she was doing is sleeping and breathing, and I realized how cherished I am. How cherished each of is to him who created us, who knows us better than anyone else. What an incredible experience and gift to be a mom!
As I learn how to mother my children, each to their personalities, gifting, and challenges, my prayer is that I continue to have confidence in myself as the woman chosen to help bring them up to know the Lord and love and follow him. Not that my confidence would be in my abilities nor lack of confidence due to my own challenges, but that my confidence would be rooted in who God says I am. Beloved. Chosen. His daughter with whom he delights. His conduit for loving my husband and children. The steward for the gifts he has bestowed upon me for their benefit.
Friends, do not believe the enemy when he tells you you’re not enough for your kids. You are a dang good momma. Don’t let others tell you, nor should you tell yourself, anything contrary. Be kind to yourself. Cut yourself some slack. Trust your gut and most importantly, trust your God. He will continue to equip you to the calling of being a mother to the children entrusted to your care. It’s important that you remind yourself of this – the simple fact that you delight in your children when they have done nothing to deserve it is a direct reflection of the amazing love our Father has for you. Let His love for you be all the affirmation of your efforts and the filling of your cup, as you help bring up your littles in his mercy, grace, and love.
Kate Washleski is an everyday girl trying to be intentional to follow God’s leading in the opportunities she’s been given. She loves connecting with people, reflecting on what she’s learning and processing out loud (or even in print). Kate’s thankful for friends to whom it’s safe to speak her mind and wear her heart on her sleeve. Read more from Kate at her blog A Wonderful Life.