After praying about an opportunity, my first instinct was to text or call some of my dear, insightful lady friends about a decision in seeking this additional fit in my life. But in my spirit, I felt a halt.

“Talk to your husband; ask his opinion and seek his counsel,” I felt the Holy Spirit resound deep within.

Part of me thought, “Well, he’s a guy. Women understand these things more.” And the other part of me was yelling, “Yes! And you need to do this more often. You need to allow your husband to minister to you.”

My husband is not a pastor, nor does he run an official ministry. He does minister to his family, however, and it doesn’t take credentials for that impact to be powerful.

However, the flipside of that is, it’s powerful as long as I am a willing component.



I have to lay down any thought that would make me defensive about his wording, or whatever thought my human mind thinks could be behind his statement.

As women, especially those of us who are leaders, it can be difficult to truly seek our husband’s counsel and input. At the same time, we desire for our husband to be a strong leader with insightful things to say. We desire a relationship where we enrich each other in a synergistic way! But sometimes that means listening to our husband’s insight and saying, “Yeah, you’re right on that,” and then saying, “No,” to the present opportunity or idea.

I have learned that truly seeking my husband’s counsel does not mean getting into a debate of every reason why I see it my way, why it makes sense, why it could be beneficial, and then it ending with him saying, “Okay, okay, if you want to,” with a defeated shrug. Rather, it’s looking at a situation equally with an objective viewpoint and truly settling on a reasonable decision.

My husband is my balance. Without him, I think I would still be trying to do too much in the season I am in. God gave us each other for many reasons, but this is an area that is key.

My desire for our marriage and family to grow to its full strength and capability in how God destined it requires my responsibility to nurture who my husband is in Christ. I need to be mindful of reinforcing and affirming his role in my life. My open conversations with God have clarity, but oftentimes he directs me to my husband. It’s important for us both to build relationship with God separately AND together as a couple. If I am open completely toward only one of them, it breaks down what God desires to do through both channels.

My husband may not be a credentialed minister with an organization, but I sure am passionate about his ministry!