A date night. A brief one, but a date nonetheless. The kids were finally old enough to be dropped off at church on Wednesday nights. Now my husband and I could finally get a much-needed hour and a half alone! We arrived at church early, in time to settle the kids in by 6:30 pm so we could make a quick exit.
Speedily trying to hurry my preschoolers along, I heard the panic-stricken voice of my oldest begin to call out, “Mom? Mom? What are you and Dad going to do?”
“Not sure, Bud; don’t worry about it.”
“But Mom, where will you be? Dad said you’re going on a date? Is this true?”
“No, Mom! No! What if you don’t get me? I’ll be the last one. You’ll pick me up last!”
“I will come to get you first.”
“No, you won’t!”
“I promise. I will!”
His anxious whines continued as I hastily coaxed him toward his class. Finally, the teachable moment had come. Halfway down the hall, I stopped, knelt, held his shoulders, and looked him in the eye.
“Buddy, when you don’t believe what I’m telling you, I feel like you don’t trust me and that you don’t think I’m a good mom.”
As the words were coming out of my mouth, I realized the teachable moment wasn’t for him; it was for me.
How many times do I doubt not only the reassuring words of God but that his very nature is good?
As a parent, it breaks my heart for my child to doubt my goodness. I hate seeing the heart of my child, needlessly riddled with fear. I want him to be free to play and laugh with his friends, to enjoy his life free from unwarranted anxiety, to be jubilant and restful. It’s my job to provide for him, protect him, and meet his needs. He should be able to rest in that—completely free of concern.
Our heavenly father feels the same way. When we worry, it reveals an underlying doubt in God’s goodness. He wants us to rest in his goodness—completely free of concern. It’s his job to provide, protect, and meet our needs. He wants us to experience life to its fullest—to have the most abundant life possible. That’s something we will never experience until we begin not only to make a mental assent to his goodness but to holistically bank on it! In these times of uncertainty, may we rest in the truth that God is good and he will provide!
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? …Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:25-27 and 34 (NIV)
A recovering perfectionist, Erica Horyza is learning to embrace God’s grace in the chaos of raising and homeschooling her four children. She loves sharing her journey with other women in the hope they will find grace, peace, and freedom in Jesus. She holds a B.A. in Church Music from North Central University, teaches piano lessons, and is a fitness instructor. Her heart is happiest around a table full of food with a house full of guests.